Wednesday, February 15, 2006

From Kara

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I do hope." Psalm 130:5

While this past year has been difficult in many ways, there have also been many blessings. Blessings such as my family, friends, church family, and my new friends who have sent their prayers and words of encouragement to me through cards and this blog, who didn't even know me before. Thank you for being my blessings.

I have also been blessed over the course of this year in learning to lean on God more, trusting in Him, and growing in my relationship with Jesus.

A key verse in my Community Bible Study this year has been Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and He will make your path straight."

When I first heard the report that the cancer was back and in more places, I was devastated. The devastation turned into despair that I could not find my way out of. I could not interact with my children, I didn't want to eat, I couldn't sleep; all I wanted to do was watch reruns of The Waltons and drive my thoughts out, because they were too dark for me to bear.

On Sunday, I attended a healing worship service that my church offered for the first time. We had prayers and music and a time of kneeling at the altar to be anointed with oil and prayed over. With my family and church family surrounding me, I felt the love of God and the Holy Spirit's presence like I never had before, and my spirits were lifted and I immediately felt like myself again. I am so thankful for this spiritual healing. It has always been hard for me to know Jesus like that. It is so wonderful to know he does love me and care about me.

Thank you for your continued prayers; God listens.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

16 comments:

Dee said...

Christ, when He cried in anguish from the Cross, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"
The idea that the Father would allow His Son to suffer the torture of curcifixion is beyond me. The humiliation of nakedness, the searing pain, the agony of tears, the spit of drunken soldiers, the scorn of a jeering mob. As tears mingled with blood on His battered face, Jesus cried out to His Father - The One who had not once turned away from Him in all of eternity.
The reply was silence. Cold, accusing silence. Christ had never been guilty of any of my sins. Every one of our sins was racked up on His account right there on that Cross (Isaiah 53:4-6; Colossians 2:13-15)
Where was God's goodness in treating Christ so? Where was the Father's kindness in turning His back on His Only Son - while Jesus cried out in horror and grief?
On that terrible, wonderful day, God's goodness and kindness were directed toward you. God forsook His own Son ... so that He would never have to forsake you! Because of those dark hours 2 thousand years ago, God can say:
"I will never leave you.
I will never forsake you."
Unlike Christ, I will never have to agonize over separation from my Father; neither will you. God poured the full measure of His wrath - the terrors of eternal hell - on His own Son ... so that you and I could be adopted into His very family. That's how much He Loves you. And me.
I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in Heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide, how long, high and deep is The Love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Romans 3:14-19

"GOD'S PRECIOUS LOVE"
Joni Eareckson Tada

Anonymous said...

Our Dear Kara,
Sometimes I feel like we are on a tread mill that is out of control; we can't pray fast enough or hard enough. And then you remind us to trust in the Lord. We only need to ask once. He remembers; He doesn't have the post menopausal, forgetful brain that I have. Dear Lord, we trust You, we trust that You will take care of Kara. Please Lord, do not be offended if we forget that You are all knowing, all seeing. We love Kara so much. Please help us to see Your will for us as we travel and spend time in Houston. Protect her from harm and let her feel Your arms around her.
Love, Gamma and PaPa

Anonymous said...

Thank you for that beautiful note. It's so good to hear from you. We can so understand your dispair, but at the same time are so grateful that you were able to feel God's presence and power during the healing service and now you can move forward with the certain hope that you are truly in God's loving arms. No matter what the future holds God is in control and in that you can rest. He will provide for your needs as he has through this whole illness. You have been blessed with family and friends whose strength and support has sustained you, Matt, Emma and Luke through this tough year. We continue to pray for God's mercy in your life. You have been such an inspiration to us all and that is such a wonderful testimony.

Gina said...

Dear Kara,

Thank you for sharing so much about your experience. The despair that you described is so honest, but as you said it's hard to confront and overcome. Your strength and fortitude is such a blessing to me and to many others.

As I read your posting, I was immediately touched and reminded of the spiritual legacy of our family, particularly the way that Granny relied on God through so many struggles. Just as you said, being in the presence of God and experiencing the Holy Spirit is a beautiful gift that He lavishes on us, meeting our deepest needs like nothing else ever can. Thank you again for sharing your experience of spiritual healing.

We continue to pray for complete physical healing, and we praise God for the spiritual healing that He's giving you every day.

Much Love,
Gina and Curby

Anonymous said...

Kara,

Please also remember that you have SO many other people praying for you that you don't even know, will never hear from, and never see, and be comforted by their prayers as well.

It was so goood to see you on Saturday- thank you for making the trip. We love you so much.

Kelly

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara,
Thanks so much for sharing the wonderful verses from Proverbs, Thessalonians, and Isaiah and what they have meant to you for encouragement and nourishment. We are all on a journey of letting go and letting God day by day, and what a blessing it is for us for you to share your experience of spiritual healing as you trust Him more.
Love,
Aunt Karen and Uncle Don

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara and family,
There are many kinds of healing and perhaps the healing of the spirit is the most important and must come before the healing of the body. Now once again trust that God will guide the healers of your body.
Know that you are a blessing to us all and may the love the surrounds you help sustain you through these difficult times. Prayers always,
Aunt Mary Margaret & Uncle Gary

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara, Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts and verses which mean so much to you in your spiritual journey. Thank you, thank you. They mean so much to me hearing them from you and knowing how you are being healed in so many wonderful ways. Love to all, Aunt Betsy

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara,
You are so brave to express your deepest, darkest feelings. People ask me all the time how you are doing. I can tell them one thing, and I am so glad when I can also tell them how much we and you are depending on the Holy spirit to take you away from this cancer. As a mother in law, I don't think there can ever be a more close communication and bond...I love you, you depend on Him, and we depend on Him to take care of you, all our love, Jim and Diane

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara,
I have spent alot of time this week reflecting on all of the anniversaries February brings for you and me. I remember waiting with you the first week of this journey and you reflecting that you didn't know how you were going to make it through and yet we serve a God who makes ways where ways didn't exist.
A song that has been floating through my head this week is better stated in Psalm 40, but U2 dosn't do too bad of a job at paraphrasing.

"40"
I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song

I am so thankful that after the healing service you have found a new song to sing.

Grace and Peace,
Amy Cammarano

Anonymous said...

Thank you God that the Holy Spirit knows our heart for there is no way that I can put it into words.

We love you and your family so.

Anonymous said...

You and Matt continue to inspire us as our families fight these battles together. I only wish we'd met through church instead of cancer. We are so happy that your spirits are lifted. Also, we pray that the side effects of your chemo are mild but the impact is miraculous.

Greg and Stephanie Johnson

Anonymous said...

Kara, Thank you for your inspiration and sharing of your time of despair as well as of faith and hope. You will lead us. You are dear to all, love, jan and fred

Anonymous said...

Dear Kara, How wonderful to celebrate each new day and especially each new birthday and how I hope you were able to do just that this week-end at the farm! It's so hard for me to believe that your dad is now his new age, as I recall when he was born and so many good and unique things about him when he was Luke's age and when he was Emma's age and sometimes it seems not that long ago. Kara, you give him such joy and always have, and to see him with your little ones is such an awesome sight, and I hope you got some great photos and had some great moments away from it all for a couple of days. Please rest when you can and know how very special you are to me and to all of us. This week hopefully will be better than last in lots of ways as your strength returns and your energy resources allow you to focus on the family and the marvelous healing that's happening daily through our Lord Jesus and his miraculous power. Love to all, Aunt Betsy

Anonymous said...

Dearest Kara,
Thanks for sharing your comfort from our Lord and the strength He gives. Remember His Words from Isa. 61:1-3...that he gives "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (You and your family) will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." You are so loved and appreciated and I'm so blessed to know you and your Mother in CBS this year. May God's grace be poured out on your entire family.
In Christ's Love, Diane

Anonymous said...

Kara,
Remember the footsteps story about 2 sets vs. 1--God is carrying you in your darkest hours. He is with you! Trust in Him!

We are constantly praying for you and your loved ones.

Love,
Megan, Eric, Bailey, & Grant